I love technology. In my actual life I'm a software engineer. Amongst software engineers, I am far from the geekiest guy I know. I don't care much for Star Trek, and I know just enough Monty Python quotes to drop them in where they fit ("Very small rocks", "I'm not quite dead yet"). Although I may not be that geeky amongst programmers, I do love the toys and conveniences that modern conveniences give us.
Last night I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some cough syrup, because I have a cold (I don't want to beat a dead horse, but modern technology has done NOTHING for the common cold, in fact things are getting worse because now I have to find an open pharmacy and hand over my driver's license to get real sudafed. The stuff that is currently available over the counter doesn't work as well. And by "doesn't work as well" I mean "throwing $4.37 out the window on the way to the store would be just as effective". Chicken soup is probably more effective).
On the way out of Walmart, I stop at redbox and rent a movie. $1.50 for a Blu-Ray disc. I was thinking about how amazing this is. My family got its first VCR for Christmas in 1985. This was kind of the year that "the rest of us" got a VCR. It seems like that Christmas every family I knew that did not yet have VCR got one. Also, video rental stores popped up everywhere. Some charged membership fees, and some didn't last long. I imagine there are people who are still angry that they paid a $50 membership fee to Pineville Video Rental in January, 1986, and they were out of business before the weather got warm. Whether they charged fees or not, I don't ever remember movie rentals being less than $2. And this was Blu-Ray, whose image is roughly 17,000 times clearer than VHS.
As I walked to the car my Blackberry vibrated. It was an emailed receipt from redbox. I was barely 100 feet away. This prompted me to think, "Wow, what an amazing world we live in. This is fantastic." Somebody, however, would have had this same experience and this would have been the thing that pushed them over the edge an caused them to go "off the grid".
As for me, I like the grid. Also, The Social Network is a pretty good movie, but I really recommend going to the source, Ben Mezrich's The Accidental Billionaires (as well as his other non-fiction). While I was writing this I received an email that told me my wife returned the movie to redbox. What a wonderful world.
If you want to leave a comment I'd love to hear from you as long as its not to have a cyber-argument because I have a BlackBerry. I don't have a phone-religion, but a good deal was a good deal.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Reality Television, Vol 1
As an amateur writer, you sit and try to figure out things to write about. In my case I try to "write nice", so often something I find funny also causes me to go "Oh no, I can't write about that" (often, I can't even joke about it in mixed company). So I titled this post "Reality Television, Vol 1" because I have a hunch I will revisit the topic from time to time.
Here is a brief history or reality television. I didn't do any actual "research", because it would take time and start to resemble "work". The history of reality television goes something like this. In the beginning there were documentaries, a television show where the plot involves something that actually happened. Documentaries almost never involve two women who take in a man as a third roommate but tell the landlord he's gay so it is acceptable for him to live there, and in a documentary hi-jinx almost never ensue. Documentaries are kind of snooty. Not as snooty as reading a book instead of watching television though.
Documentaries are to related to reality television ("reality" of course, from the Greek "reali", meaning "done without spending much money on production or writing because filming idiots in idiotic situations is very funny") the same way that BMWs are related to... some much less expensive, less snooty, completely unpretentious, car that very little planning or design went into, but is still popular. Maybe a Volkswagen Beetle. But not the one of the new ones that are sort of cool, the rather nerdy old ones that put out about as much horsepower as a modern lawnmower (when the hell did the "punch buggy" game start? Whose idea was it to market an egg on wheels by giving the animals that masquerade as my children another reason to hit each other in the backseat of the car?)
My new favorite reality show is "You're Cut Off" on VH-1. In this show very annoying rich girls are run through a sort of princess rehab program to try to turn them into actual human beings. They spend so much time talking about how much all their stuff costs I kinda doubt they're as rich as they let on, but imagine I would trade paychecks with their parents. Every time I think that reality television can't sink any lower, BOOM! Another sub-basement. Also, I came to the following conclusion: The world suffers from a lack of pianos hanging precariously from frayed ropes. I grew up watching Wile E. Coyote, and this was constantly a problem for him, pianos and anvils both. And he was a Super Genius.
Perhaps in today's political climate I should be perfectly clear: Please don't drop a piano, or an anvil, on any of the people on this show. But with modern CGI, it seems like they could occasionally make this appear to happen. Its gotta a be a better use of that technology than the new Star Wars movies.
Blogs are related to books the same way reality television is related to documentaries. It requires the same basic skill set to read a blog as to read a book, but there is nothing snooty or pretentious about it. You don't get to feel better than other people. It may be entertaining though. Thanks for reading. Leave a comment if you like.
Here is a brief history or reality television. I didn't do any actual "research", because it would take time and start to resemble "work". The history of reality television goes something like this. In the beginning there were documentaries, a television show where the plot involves something that actually happened. Documentaries almost never involve two women who take in a man as a third roommate but tell the landlord he's gay so it is acceptable for him to live there, and in a documentary hi-jinx almost never ensue. Documentaries are kind of snooty. Not as snooty as reading a book instead of watching television though.
Documentaries are to related to reality television ("reality" of course, from the Greek "reali", meaning "done without spending much money on production or writing because filming idiots in idiotic situations is very funny") the same way that BMWs are related to... some much less expensive, less snooty, completely unpretentious, car that very little planning or design went into, but is still popular. Maybe a Volkswagen Beetle. But not the one of the new ones that are sort of cool, the rather nerdy old ones that put out about as much horsepower as a modern lawnmower (when the hell did the "punch buggy" game start? Whose idea was it to market an egg on wheels by giving the animals that masquerade as my children another reason to hit each other in the backseat of the car?)
My new favorite reality show is "You're Cut Off" on VH-1. In this show very annoying rich girls are run through a sort of princess rehab program to try to turn them into actual human beings. They spend so much time talking about how much all their stuff costs I kinda doubt they're as rich as they let on, but imagine I would trade paychecks with their parents. Every time I think that reality television can't sink any lower, BOOM! Another sub-basement. Also, I came to the following conclusion: The world suffers from a lack of pianos hanging precariously from frayed ropes. I grew up watching Wile E. Coyote, and this was constantly a problem for him, pianos and anvils both. And he was a Super Genius.
Perhaps in today's political climate I should be perfectly clear: Please don't drop a piano, or an anvil, on any of the people on this show. But with modern CGI, it seems like they could occasionally make this appear to happen. Its gotta a be a better use of that technology than the new Star Wars movies.
Blogs are related to books the same way reality television is related to documentaries. It requires the same basic skill set to read a blog as to read a book, but there is nothing snooty or pretentious about it. You don't get to feel better than other people. It may be entertaining though. Thanks for reading. Leave a comment if you like.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Starting Over
As I'm sure none of you know, I had another Bill Daniels' Blog, Bill Daniels' Worthless Observations. I don't want to brag, but over the course of several years it gathered about five comments, two of them from people I did not know. One was positive. The other said that it was aptly named. I suspect this was supposed to be a dig at me, but it was posted in the middle of the night months (if not years- I'm not going back to check) after I wrote it. You may notice that where I mentioned the title above is not a link. This is not a mistake. The old blog consisted of occasional moments of humor in between a lot of whining about why I wasn't writing. Don't look for it. I'm not saying this because I want you to go look for it - I mean it. The only chance I have of this blog succeeding (success to be defined by me later) is if people don't see it.
I received a Kindle for Christmas. It is a very neat device that is sort of like wireless electronic paper. Because it is not color, and will probably not play videos, it is one of the only advances in technology that will not be used for pornography. Because I have a handful of other books to read, I haven't read much on the Kindle, but it occurred to me to look for blogs that are available on them... and they all of subscription prices. So somebody is making money on that... and I figure, "hey, I'm somebody". And I don't feel like a sell out, because I never spent much time writing for the sake of art... but I maybe I'll spend more time for the sake of money.
I'm a Cubs fan. I turn forty this year. I have two sons that I love, but to say they're like wild animals is an insult to the feral cats of the world. Hopefully that will be enough to make this entertaining because its probably best if I just leave my wife out of this. Hope its entertaining.
I received a Kindle for Christmas. It is a very neat device that is sort of like wireless electronic paper. Because it is not color, and will probably not play videos, it is one of the only advances in technology that will not be used for pornography. Because I have a handful of other books to read, I haven't read much on the Kindle, but it occurred to me to look for blogs that are available on them... and they all of subscription prices. So somebody is making money on that... and I figure, "hey, I'm somebody". And I don't feel like a sell out, because I never spent much time writing for the sake of art... but I maybe I'll spend more time for the sake of money.
I'm a Cubs fan. I turn forty this year. I have two sons that I love, but to say they're like wild animals is an insult to the feral cats of the world. Hopefully that will be enough to make this entertaining because its probably best if I just leave my wife out of this. Hope its entertaining.
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